She Died Writing to me
by PeechTao
Summary: QuiGon's first exposure to love as a Padawan, and he turns to Tahl to help him through it. FINISHED


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own nothing but Ty-Mara

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She Died Writing to Me

He was often told by other padawans and masters that he was much too ready and willing to befriend the strangest of life forms. From low live to kings, Qui-Gon Jinn's ability to have beings fall at his door and beg assistance was well known. Councilors were warned of it, others persuaded Qui-Gon to conceal it, but why condemn something that in itself was a blessing? On any mission, in any region, Qui-Gon could more that get anything he needed. He called in a favor to this person, or made a new friend with that person and in the end always left with twenty or so new acquaintances. Though the Council took nearly everything seriously, they could not help but refer to this expansive network of friendship with the utmost comedy. "He has more contacts than a senatorial aid!" they would comment, "And only sixteen year old!" Of course the latter was no longer so. This odd habit of befriending the unlikeliest of beings started at sixteen (or at least that was when the Council became informed of it) but now Qui-Gon was nearing twenty. There was scarcely a spot on all of Coruscant in which someone he knew was not present. He was well liked within the Temple also. Many were his brothers-in-arms but he had a select few that became his core. Tahl, a friend from childhood, Ty-Mara, who they found out was Qui-Gon's blood brother, though neither told any master they knew this, and Sacul, the more comical, happy-go-lucky apprentice. Of course, do not feel misinformed, for all of these particular padawans found joy and dare say utter ecstasy in the combination of geka lizards and sleep couch blankets.

Among their favorite camp out and thinking spots was the Jedi Temple hanger, located in the middle spire of the Temple, only a half dozen or so floors beneath the Council Room. Qui-Gon had gone there to watch Sacul's departure with his Master to some far region. That was about two hours ago, and still he stayed, watching the service droids or ships. Nothing really caught his eye, for the most part he was brooding. He thought about Sacul's mission, about where his brother and Tahl might be after leaving together some weeks before. Qui-Gon wished to be paired with Sacul likewise but the presence of two teams was unnecessary. And so he waited for his master's return from a solo mission, somewhat angered that Qui-Gon was not permitted to go along.

He slowly tuned in to reality as the thought of what he should be doing crossed his mind. The young man stood from his cross legged position on the floor and stretched his stiff limbs in turn. He glanced around casually to find something strangely amiss. A small, one-man cruiser had been on its individual launch pad outside the Temple the entire time he was sitting there. He could see someone bustling around it dressed in grey-blue coveralls and a strange patterned wrap holding back her shoulder length chestnut hair. It was perfectly normal in most respects, but what struck an odd cord was the supposed mechanic did not at all appear to be a Jedi. The Jedi definitely had their own mechanics and there seemed to be nothing particularly special about this one. So why was she there? It didn't take long for him to walk over and investigate.

At first the girl paid him no mind. She worked diligently weeding through the various colored wires. "Hello," Qui-Gon offered, knowing she didn't see him.

She looked up and threw a short glance over him. After a moment she stood and blushed. "Oh, hi, sorry I didn't notice. I just get so tied up in my work I don't know what's going on."

Qui-Gon smiled. He knew the feeling and had practiced just that for the past two hours. "My name is Qui-Gon Jinn." He made a small bow. Being formal was his way of being polite and most beings responded to it.

"I'm Lain. Lain Micale." she said, blushing further as she stuck out a hand to shake his. Lain realized how grease covered it was and so quickly pulled it back to rub it on her trousers. She smiled shyly.

He paid it no mind and regarded the star cruiser she was working on. "I'm pretty handy with these D-type models. Can I help?"

The girl opened her mouth to answer but before a word escaped, a woman's head appeared over the cockpit. "I thought I heard something! Who are you?" she said.

Lain responded for Qui-Gon. "He's a Jedi, mom, his name is Qui-Gon Jinn."

The head disappeared for a moment then the elder woman picked herself up and out to stand next to them. She pushed her goggles onto her faintly wrinkled forehead to stair better.

"He's come to offer his help." she finished.

The woman nodded some and removed a glove before shaking his hand. "First time today we were provided a hand from a real person." She waved a hand at the service droids. "Dang robots been running around all day after us."

"They have a way of getting under foot, though they aren't meant to." Qui-Gon said, watching as some poor knight tried to ward off the one following him. He chuckled some when the knight force-pushed him away. Lain stifled her laugh in case the man might here.

The older woman shook her head. "Bloody things. No good in them." she said quietly, as if to herself, then aloud, "Well thanks for the offer, but we are fine as it is. Your Temple after all, so hang around if you like." She shot a glance at her daughter. "Lain never has much time to be with kids her own age. I'm sure she'd like you to stay."

"Mom!" the girl growled as if a warning, nudging her mother with an elbow.

The padawan suppressed his grin so as not to embarrass her further. He decided to stay. There were no more scheduled activities for him, so he was missing nothing really. Besides, there was hidden behind Lain's soft brown eyes something painful and unnerving. He saw it in her mother also. What was it?

The mother, who introduced herself as Sasha Micale, checks over a few fuses before noticing who now approached. Her smile was large and warm and her eyes almost seemed to glisten as if tears threatened to fall. "Master Windu." They clasped hands. "I was wondering if you would visit."

"I plan my day around our meetings." He replies, oddly smiling also. Master Mace Windu was known for his nearly Sith-like fighting style, his imposing character, and his measureless diplomatic status, not meeting with a small family with grins and laughs. And laugh he did while greeting Lain.

Qui-Gon was wondering what sort of brain surgery was needed to change the man so dynamically when without warning Mace's attitude returned as he regarded the padawan. "What are you doing here, Padawan Jinn?" he asked, forcefulness returning.

Qui-Gon gulped down the tremor that grabbed him as Mace said his name. "Master . . .I was . . ."

"About to help me, actually." Lain spoke up. "We've been killing this ship all day and the ignition switch was not the only problem."

Mace looks to Sasha. "Really?"

She climbed back into the cockpit with a grunt. "I'm pressing the ignition now."

"Nothing's happening." He jumped onto the wing to watch her work.

"Actually your wrong." Lain told him, "The rear compartment doors are open now. You can't tell because we emptied them after we realized what happened. Otherwise junk would be laying everywhere."

Sasha pointed at the panels. "Whatever wired this last obviously wasn't paying attention. The wires for everything else is fine, except this one panel. The entire switch board is wrong. It's a total guessing game." She demonstrated by pushing a few buttons. Each preformed an action contrary to their design. At one point she pressed climate control and the rear and forward drag fins sprung open. Mace looked down after hearing a half-muffled "ugh".

Qui-Gon stooped down beside lain. One of the fins had caught her clear across the side of her head. Mace leapt down to inspect her with an unusual fatherly care.

"Dear goodness, are you all right?" Sasha asked, joining them.

She held her head groggily. "Dude, that hurt worse than the shuttle crashing through our house!"

"Maybe you should see the doctor." her mother said worriedly.

"It's not that bad . . . Ow! Mace, don't touch that!" she snapped pulling away from his fingers and closer to Qui-Gon. "Bloody hades, that hurt!"

The Councilor gave a wry smile. "Yes, you should go see the healers, just in case you injured something important."

She rolled her eyes before having the padawan help her up. "Don't be so dramatic. Stay here, Qui-Gon can show me the way, right?" He agreed with a nod and the two struck out together.

Sasha turned to the seasoned Jedi Master with tired, sad eyes. She leaned back against the crazy ship. "Oh, Mace, she's growing more everyday. She still thinks about home a lot but its passing." She sighs, watching them walk off, "Thank you for all this. Without the Jedi, I don't know where we would be."

He sat on the wing and waited for her to join him. "Let's not dwell on the could haves. You were the one who saved me, or have you forgotten? Your generosity is what saved you, not what the Jedi did."

She nodded solemnly. "It's hard to believe really. One day you think an electric powered car is a great advance in technology then your entire planet is gone, and suddenly the entire galaxy looks down at you. It's as if we're primitives."

"You adjusted well, make a good wage . . ."

"All thanks to the Jedi." she repeated, "Admit it would you? We owe you everything."

"All right, maybe just a little."

:-:-:

Qui-Gon Jinn's uncanny way of allying himself with any and all things had never been perceived as a problem. Men, women, young, and old, all succumbed to his sweet, suave nature. Lain Micale was no different. They sought each other out silently but all new Qui-Gon had found a new friend. However, Lain was not so open to tell her life story like all others had. She was friendly, had little trouble taking time to spend with him, but she never really opened to him. Not the way he wanted. She was an enigma, a mystery, and this would frustrate the padawan and confuse him so profoundly he willingly sought out meditation.

Qui-Gon's ability to join himself to others through the living Force had never appeared to be a problem, until a young, planet-less girl began to love him, and he felt himself drawn to the same.

Currently it was two months since the day they first met. Lain was dressed in her peculiar native clothes (or so Qui-Gon guessed for truly they were quite odd) and a tool belt was fastened around her waste. She was stooped over a fountain in the gardens, working tediously but not at all briskly. Qui-Gon was sitting on the grass beside her, pulling out random blades with no real interest in anything besides Lain.

She could sense his gaze on her, so she looked up and smiled when their eyes met. That look made Qui-Gon's heart skip a beat. And she knew it. Their eyes locked for a long time. However, a crowd of questions continued to weigh heavy on him. Bolder now, he asked, "Lain, why do you cry at night? Why does the Temple employ you for tasks it can more than manage on its own?" He gazed upon her with such affection, "Who are you?"

Where as before she had her legs crossed similar to his, she now pulled her knees childishly beneath her chin. Qui-Gon could tell the questions had an adverse affect and so sought to comfort her on his mistake. He crawled to her and pulled her into a hug, squeezing as tightly as he dared.

"I'm sorry," she said before he had a chance to speak, "I know I have not told you anything about me. That I haven't been open. It's just hard, because I don't want to remember it."

He nodded. "It's okay. I want to help you Lain. I care about you. But I can't do anything unless I know what troubles your heart. I see it's painful and I want anything except that for you."

She agreed and leaned her head against his chiseled chest. Her body trembled terribly as the flashes of her past consumed her mind. The pain, the suffering choking her breaths. Her lips barely parted as she spoke quietly, little more than a whisper. "My home planet was unaware of this Galactic Republic. We lived in days that were marked with low homes and wheeled cars. The only things that flew were air planes and they needed long runways and jet engines. There were always rumors about other planets, galaxies, but no one was really told the truth.

"Our countries were at constant war. If we could not unite as a planet, how could we ever join something so amazing as the Senate?" She glanced back as he rested his chin on her shoulder. "It all changed so quickly. I was told they were space pirates. Our planet was surrounded and they told us to surrender our planetary treasury. We didn't have one. They were furious, sought to kill us for our inconvenience on them. Then Mace Windu was sent to negotiate a treaty. The pirates refused to hear him out, and before he even reached the planet, his ship was shot down and he landed basically in our backyard. I thought he was dead at first, or hoped he would die because he might have been one of the pirates, but he came to and explained what had happened. My mother and I took care of him until more Jedi were sent to rescue him. We convinced them to take us also."

She shivered again, "Then my country, my home, pressed the button. They would rather die than seek help from the galaxy. Nuclear war. My planet killed itself and the pirates' droids cleaned up the mess and scavenged for what they wanted. My mother and I are all that are left. Everyone died and we had no idea how to cope in a galaxy full of peculiar things. Mace helped us. He saved us."

Her tears returned in full now. Qui-Gon felt himself stabbed with terror and grief. What would he do should all of a sudden Coruscant be lost in ashes? What if such happened to his beloved Temple? He melted against her body, burying his face into her soft hair. "Lain, I . . I'm so sorry."

She turned around again to face him. "Please, don't be. You helped us. We would be slaves perhaps if not for the Jedi."

He couldn't let his grin hide. "I was happier when you said, 'you helped us.'"

She smiled also, her eyes glistening despite her tears. There was another pause, but now something had changed between them. They moved closer until their lips brushed delicately against each other. The kiss deepened as Qui-Gon pulled her closer than ever and ran his fingers down the curves of her back. She put her arms around his neck playing in his hair. Qui-Gon would give his life for that moment to last but the Force alerted him to the approach of someone. They separated from their compromising position that left little guessing as to what had been done or what was about to happen. Lain went back to her work absent mindedly. Both stared at each other, speaking without words of their love.

:-:-:

The next morning, Qui-Gon was sent to join his Master on a mission. The Master and Padawan were away for three months, completing task after task in quick succession. Everyday he thought of Lain. Of their time in the garden, how they met secretly hours before he was sent away, how his dreams were full of the moments they would share together. He had tasted attachment. He loved every second of it. When the monotony of assignments was finely over he quickly stepped into the Temple, walking to his room in order to contact her in private.

Master Windu stopped him in the hall in front of the Padawan's room. The Councilor's features sorrowful, and yet nearly emotionless. "Qui-Gon," he said, "I have something terrible to tell you."

The apprentice dropped to his knees, his breath sucked from his lungs even though Mace had yet to say more. Qui-Gon knew what was coming.

The Master kneeled down beside him and pressed a small packet into the young man's palm. "She couldn't adjust. Her body wouldn't allow it. She passed two days ago, asking for you. Her mother died a month ago. Lain made this for you, had me promise to deliver it safely." He stood and walked away, leaving the crushed boy in a sad heap.

With much struggle he opened the parcel to reveal handwritten letters addressed to him. It was almost a diary, outlining the dreams she also dreamt, the love she also felt, and towards the end the pain she hoped he could soothe. He began to sob bitterly, forgetting the public place he was in. He read about her mother's death through Lain's tear stained paper, her own stay with the healers, the tests, the agony and finely her knowledge that she would die. His shoulders shuddered as his tears mixed with hers. He couldn't stop reading but if he didn't it would destroy him.

Tahl, his faithful friend, appeared beside him. It was her intention to find him first, break the news as only her bond with him could. But she was too late. She wrapped her arms around his neck and let him fall against her, weak and torn to pieces. They stayed there for what seemed like hours, never moving as the letters of the dead lay scattered around them

Qui-Gon changed then. If anything he was more in tuned to those around him. His time was spent wiser than ever before. In case that moment he spent with another turned out to be their last. He mourned for many months, going on merely with the support of his core group. Without them he surely would have fallen from the Jedi ways, into a darkness so profound there would be little hope of return.

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How sweet and yet, so tragic! Review please! 


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